The Pain You Buried Is Holding You Back — Here’s How to Finally Let It Go
You’re not lazy — you’re likely still carrying something heavy. Read this 7-minute guide to start healing and reclaiming your momentum.
For a long time, I didn’t think I had much to say about healing.
I wasn’t a therapist. I hadn’t written a book. I wasn’t leading retreats or guiding breathwork circles. I was just… living life. Trying to stay positive. Trying to figure things out.
But over time, something kept happening — I’d post something small and personal, and people would message me to say, “This. I needed this.”
One of those things was a graphic I made on a quiet day years ago:
Feeling. Deciding. Managing.
I titled it The Path to Healing. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure if it would resonate.
But it did. Hundreds of people saved it. Shared it. Came back to it.
So I realized — maybe it’s time we talk more about what healing actually looks like, especially if you’re someone who has big dreams, but still feels stuck.
Because healing isn’t some side quest.
It’s not something we’ll get to once we’ve made it.
Healing is often the reason we haven’t moved forward yet.
Why Healing Matters (Even If You’re Focused on Your Goals)
You might be trying to do everything right.
You’re showing up, setting goals, doing the mindset work.
But for some reason, you’re still not moving. Still doubting. Still hesitating.
Still feeling like no matter how hard you try, something is blocking you.
I want to gently offer this:
Maybe what’s blocking you isn’t a lack of effort.
Maybe it’s unprocessed pain.
Pain from when you were overlooked.
Or rejected. Or made to feel small.
Or told you had to earn love to deserve it.
I’m not a professional.
But I’ve done the work.
Therapy changed my life — and so did journaling, asking better questions, listening to podcasts that felt like church, and sitting in silence with a version of myself I used to run from.
What I’m sharing here are the three things I’ve learned that helped me finally see healing as part of my journey — not a delay from it.
Step 1: Feeling
Give yourself permission to be human. Feel the hurt, pain, betrayal, disappointment…
I used to think “feeling my feelings” meant spiraling.
Like if I opened the door to the pain, it would flood the room and never leave.
But here’s what’s actually true:
Suppressing the pain doesn’t erase it — it just buries it deeper.
And eventually, it starts showing up in ways you don’t expect.
That short temper. That lack of motivation. That frozen feeling when something good is finally within reach.
You don’t have to unpack every childhood wound to move forward — but you do have to be honest about what still hurts.
💡 Try this:
Write in a journal: “What am I still carrying that I pretend doesn’t affect me anymore?”
Give yourself a safe space to cry, even if you don’t know why.
Let your body feel the memory. Then remind yourself:
“It hurt. But I’m here now. I’m safe. And I’m letting it go.”
You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge.
This is where things start to soften.
Step 2: Deciding
How are you going to move forward? Focus less on what happened and more on whether it fits into your dream life.
This step changed everything for me.
Once I allowed myself to feel, I started to see clearly.
Some of the people I was trying to please no longer fit.
Some of the goals I was chasing weren’t mine to begin with.
Some of the thoughts in my head were echoes of voices that no longer deserved space.
Deciding is the part where you take your power back.
You’re not just reacting to your past — you’re choosing your future.
💡 Try this:
Ask yourself: “If I didn’t feel guilty, what would I let go of?”
Make a short list: “What actually belongs in the life I’m trying to build?”
Revisit your vision: Is it based on your actual desires, or someone else’s definition of success?
You get to choose who and what comes with you.
Not everyone deserves a front row seat in your healing.
Step 3: Managing
It’s okay to think about it now and then. But put your energy into becoming the best version of you.
Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never get triggered again.
It means you’ll recognize the trigger and know how to care for yourself through it.
Old memories might surface at the worst times. That’s normal.
But instead of spiraling, you start to self-soothe.
You start to remember, “I’m not there anymore. I’m safe now.”
This is where you build new habits.
This is where the healing becomes a rhythm, not a one-time event.
💡 Try this:
When a bad memory shows up, say:
“That happened. But I’m not stuck there.”
Anchor yourself in the present:
Light a candle.
Step outside barefoot.
Drink a glass of water slowly.
Recommit to a small ritual that feels good:
A morning journal sessionA reset playlist
A 10-minute walk before you check your phone
You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to keep showing up with truth, even if it’s tender.
Healing Isn’t a Detour — It’s the Way Through
If you’ve been feeling stuck, I want you to know:
You are not lazy. You are not broken.
You are just carrying things that were never yours to hold forever.
Your dream life doesn’t require a “perfect” you.
It requires a present you.
A version of you who knows what hurt — and chose to move forward anyway.
Healing is how you get there.
Not by doing more. But by releasing the weight.
You’re allowed to feel.
You’re allowed to grow.
You’re allowed to keep going — even if it’s messy.
✨ Try This Journal Prompt:
“What would my next chapter look like if I wasn’t carrying so much pain from the last one?”
If this resonated…
You’re not alone.
I’ll be talking more about healing, home, boundaries, and softness in the posts to come.
Make sure you’re subscribed so I can send you tools and encouragement (only once a week — no spam ever).
🖤
Keep going. You’re becoming.
With Love,
Ambyr