A New Kind of Soul Food: On Friendship, Savoring, and Sitting in What You Dreamed

Where I grew up, soul food was equivalent to love.

I can remember being at home, or over Aunt Lynne’s, and we’d have some of the best seasoned food you could imagine, surrounded by a table of laughter, stories, and catching up.

The food was made with love and always brought us back to the table, coming together time after time.

As I move along, having my own table and all, I’ve learned that soul food can mean more than perfectly seasoned fried chicken, collard greens, and my mom’s sensational macaroni and cheese - although…I could use some right now ;)

Today I learned a different kind of soul food, one I didn’t know how to name before this morning.

See for me, soul food was something that brought people together, around a table. But today, we weren’t in the kitchen. We weren’t even in the house.

A dear friend came over and we walked the babies around the lake and down the paseo.

I brought creamy rose coffee; she brought homemade blueberry muffins from her sourdough starter.
We walked slow, laughed loud, took it all in, and really saw each other.

The next thing she did surprised TF out of me.

She invited me to sit down next to the lake.

I know what you’re saying - Ambyr, why is this monumental?
I get it, I’m right there with you.

The thing is, I’d walked this lake for years. Even before moving here, I’d walk it and allow myself to dream of what life in this storybook side of town would look like, feel like. Some call it manifestation but this is how I dream.

I’d walk past the houses, imagine us living there one day, counting ducks, admiring beauty — always from the sidewalk.

But I never sat in it.

Like really sat, with a blanket, under matching London Plane trees, wind blowing across our faces, and turtles just below the overhang where our feet would soon lay.

So, when I told her that I’d never sat beside the lake, she looked at me and said, “Ambyr! You live here! Why have you never sat and enjoyed this??”.

I answered vulnerably and truthfully - “People see the world in different ways”.

All these years of planning, saving, and putting our heads down…
It never dawned on me that I was allowed to take up space in one part of the journey we’d finally reached.

I never sat lakeside because I didn’t think it was mine to enjoy. Heck, I’ve never even thought of enjoyment that way.
At least, not until now.

So, instead of planning what was next or coming up with excuses about my not-so-stallion knees these days 😂 - I just sat down.

She whipped out her picnic blanket, a few baby snacks and more muffins, and unknowingly showed me, in a new way, how to savor the sweetness of life.

And it wasn’t anything complicated, it didn’t need to be.
Just us girls, two cute toddlers, and beauty waiting to be embraced so it could teach me something different.

As I watched our son taking it all in, I realized, this was a core memory for him in the making. Not because he’d remember this exact moment, he’s much too young. But because I now have another example in the art of savoring - a lesson we’ll make sure he won’t soon forget.

So, I offer this to you, my friends -

No matter which stage of the journey you’re in, find something to savor.
Even if things aren’t going your way at the moment, there’s still so much journey left up ahead.

And there are people who will lay a blanket before your feet, sit with you, and create the kind of sunlight that nourishes and feeds your soul.

Take up space exactly where you are even if it’s not fully where you want to be yet. You are somewhere and you deserve to savor getting here thus far.

Let this be your permission slip.

With Love,
Ambyr