Don't Let the Messenger or the Viral Clip Cost You Your Dreams

On curiosity, receipts, and everything I found in Emma Grede's Start With Yourself that the viral clip couldn't tell you.

Estimated reading time ~6 minutes

The Moment I Asked a Different Question

I want to tell you about a moment I had in college that changed everything.

I was a pre-med student. Junior year. Sitting in a study group, preparing for the MCAT, when one of the guys in my group — a year ahead of me, pressed send on his medical school application — and started mapping out his plan.

Roughly twelve years, he said. That's how long it would take before he could fully work in the specialty he wanted. And he was telling us about the weight his wife and three kids would carry while he spent nights in the library, and then the hospital. The sacrifices. The timeline. The version of life that would have to be put on hold so the dream could eventually be built.

I sat there and thought — why did I only just realize this now?

I had wanted to be a doctor for as long as I could remember. I wanted to help people. I wanted to make good money. I wanted to build something that mattered.

But sitting in the library, listening to him talk, something shifted. Because even if I got through all of it — I would suddenly need to prioritize marriage and having children, and wouldn’t even have my own private practice until my late forties or fifties.

And there were things about myself — the way I wanted to show up, the life I wanted to build around the work — that simply wouldn't survive the operating room.

So I made a decision that scared me. I switched everything. I started asking a question I had never thought to ask before: are there other roads to where I want to go?

The answer was yes. There always is.

I'm telling you this because I just finished reading Emma Grede's book, Start With Yourself. And I need you to hear what I'm about to say.

I Got Curious. So I Read Emma Grede's Start With Yourself.

If you've been on social media lately, you've probably seen the clip. Emma — co-founder of SKIMS, Good American, one of the most powerful women in business right now — said something that sent the internet into a spiral. People had opinions. Strong ones. And I get it. I heard the clip too.

But I also got curious. So I got the book. All 300 pages of it.

And what I found inside was not what the comments section told me I would find.

In the second and third chapters, Emma talks about something that almost nobody in her position talks about openly — money, family planning, career timing, and the very real decisions women face when they try to have it all without a plan. She talks about it from her own experience, generously and honestly.

And when I read it, I thought about all the women I know — women my age — who are now facing heartbreaking realities because these conversations were never had with them when it mattered. Who thought certain options would still be available and found out too late that they weren't. Who followed a script that was handed to them without ever stopping to ask if it was written for their life.

Nobody warned them. Nobody sat them down and said — here are the roads, here are the tradeoffs, here is what choosing one thing costs you in another direction.

Emma is trying to have that conversation.

And we're too busy debating the messenger to hear the message.

Where I Agree, Where I Don't, and Why It Doesn't Matter

Now let me be honest with you about something, because I don't want you to think I agree with everything she said.

The viral clip was about visibility and in-person work.

And I have to tell you — remote work was one of the very things that helped me jump tax brackets. So that part? That directly contradicts my experience. I more than tripled my income working remotely — (big tech). I built a home that felt safe and beautiful. I was present for my family in a way that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. And it was in that space — that quieter, more focused space — that Ambyr Things finally had room to breathe.

So no, I don't take everything she says as gospel.
You shouldn't take everything anyone says as gospel — including me.

But here's what I know. There are seven federal income tax brackets in this country. Emma Grede has lived through all of them. She talks about it in the book.

And I have lived through six of the seven. The only one I haven't reached yet is the one with the millions — and I said yet because I mean it.

What it took to move through each one of those levels — the grit, the accountability, the willingness to keep going even when I had every reason to stop — maps closely to what she's talking about in those pages. Not perfectly. But closely enough that I had to stop and pay attention.

And if you won't hear it from a billionaire because her world feels too far from yours, hear it from me, the girl born and raised in Warren, Ohio.

I am still on this journey. Building in real time. Figuring it out as I go. I don't have everything figured out and I'm not pretending to. But I have receipts. And so does she. And when someone has verifiable proof, I think we owe it to ourselves to at least get curious before we dismiss them.

Half a Million People Found It While I Was Doubting It

Speaking of receipts — let me tell you what happened to me recently.

Years ago I created a Night Time Routine Checklist.

I built it, posted it to Pinterest, and kept moving. I didn't think much of it because I was still knee-deep in hustle culture, which for me, felt like I had to constantly create a bunch of good stuff, each better than the next.

Oh the pressure!!!!

I wasn’t thinking about product development and what that’d mean for my brand long term.

So, you can imagine how surprised I was when, recently, I found out that the checklist I’d forgotten about, had quietly accumulated over half a million organic impressions.


I even wrote about it here → What Half a Million People Taught Me About Myself

While I was doubting myself and working “harder”, half a million people found what I made.

And then I discovered someone had taken it. Reposted my original work as their own and was using it to drive their own affiliate sales. My content. My design. My years of quiet, consistent work.

And here's where the book comes in.

The decision in that moment was not between rage or being offended. It was between staying stuck in old patterns of behavior and mentality, or taking action. Emma talks about this — the way the people who build things don't have the luxury of staying in their feelings for long. Not because the feelings aren't valid. But because the work is waiting.

I could have made it a story. I could have let it live in my chest for weeks and called everyone to complain about how someone stole from me.

Or, I could read the signal clearly — somebody thought this was worth stealing, which means somebody thought this was worth something — even after years of negative self-talk mislead to me believe otherwise.

This was a time to choose differently.
And I did.

I filed the report, handled my business, and let that be the proof I needed to keep going.

Pinterest agreed it was copyright infringement and removed it within hours.

And I went back to work.

This Part Is for You

Now let me talk to the person I'm really writing this for. You.

The one whose dream is still very much alive inside of you. The one who hasn't told anyone yet — maybe not even yourself — because it feels too big or too far or too impossible given everything your life looks like right now.

I don't care if you've never seen anyone in your family do it. I don't care if you're the only person in your circle talking about it. I don't care if you don't fully believe you can pull it off.

If you close your eyes and that dream is still there — I'm talking to you.

You do not need your confidence to be perfect before you start.
You do not need to have your self-worth fully realized or every limiting belief resolved before you take a step.

I got through six tax brackets not because I had unshakeable belief in myself, but because I kept taking steps even when I was full of doubt.

Even when I was scared. Even when I had no idea if any of it was going to work.

You could be uncertain your entire way there — as long as you keep moving.

Iron sharpens iron. You can be as dull as you want, but get close enough to sharp iron and something will shift in you whether you're ready or not.

That's what this book did for me.
That's what this journey has done for me.
And that's what Ambyr Things was created to do for you — to be a front row seat to someone building it in real time, so that maybe your road is a little less lonely and a little less long than mine was.

What Emma Grede's Start With Yourself Is Really Saying — If You'll Listen

Here's what I want to say about the controversy, and then I'm done with it.

We are living in a world of viral clips and double taps. We scroll faster than we think.

We form opinions in seconds and hold them for years. And somewhere in that speed, we are missing things that matter.

Books that could change our direction. Ideas that could unlock something. Conversations that make us uncomfortable because they're asking us to grow.

How many messengers are we dismissing? How many roads are we closing because something about the person delivering the information doesn't sit right with us? How many dreams are staying exactly where they are because we stopped at sixty seconds instead of going further?

Emma Grede is one messenger.
I am another.

Walk the aisles of any store and you'll find twenty, thirty different brands and flavors of tea. You get to choose what you put in your cup. But please — don't let the messenger or a viral clip make that decision for you.

Because if you stopped at the clip, you only got half the story. And the other half might be exactly what you need right now.

Get the book if you're curious. You don't have to agree with everything. I don't. But go find your nuggets, because I promise they're in there.

Take the step toward that thing you've been dreaming about.
Subscribe here and let me walk alongside you — I'll be showing up every Sunday with the honest version of what this looks like in real life.

And if you want a starting place for how to end your day with intention so that tomorrow you wake up ready to build — my Night Time Routine Guide is waiting for you.

But if you finish reading this and all you have is tears, or a frustration you can't quite name — that's okay. That means something landed. Take out a piece of paper and write:

I am worth it. I can do it.

And I promise you, that’ll be enough for today.
Come back tomorrow. I'll still be here 🤍

With Love,
Ambyr

P.S. — I put together a few gentle journal prompts below. Think of this as a quiet, starting place to understanding your truth.

A Gentle Place to Begin

You don't have to have it figured out. You just have to start somewhere. These prompts aren't about big decisions or life plans. They're just about telling yourself the truth — maybe for the first time in a while.

1. Is there something you've been quietly dreaming about that you haven't said out loud yet — even to yourself? What does it feel like to just name it here, where nobody else can see?

2. Think about something you dismissed recently — a book, a person, an idea, a piece of advice — because something about it made you uncomfortable. What if you got curious about it instead of closing the door? What would you ask?

3. What is one thing you've already done — no matter how small — that proves you are capable of more than you currently believe about yourself? Write it down. Look at it. It happened. It's real.

4. What story have you been telling yourself about why this dream isn't possible for you? Write it out exactly as you say it in your head. Now read it back. Is it actually true — or is it just familiar?

5. If doubt wasn't a reason to stop — just a feeling you were allowed to have while still moving — what would your next small step be? Not a leap. Just a step. What would it look like?

You don't have to answer all of these today. One is enough. Come back to the others when you're ready.

And if you want more of this — the honest conversations, the real-time building, the tools that actually help — come find me here every Sunday 🤍.